2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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