Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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