I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
