After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm always down for nudity.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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