Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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