She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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