i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
