saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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