It would be one hovered percent delicioui
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
