Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
