tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
