Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
