Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize