He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I AM VODKA MAN
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
