How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
