Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
