woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
