So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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