I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
