i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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