My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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