Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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