We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
someone owes me an orgasm
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
