she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
