hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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