There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
