guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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