i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
