Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
