D3 body, D1 cock
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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