Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
