you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
