if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
