I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
