Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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