And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
