Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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