Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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