Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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