I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
