I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
