i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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