reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
And then my night got REAL pukey
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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