Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
