and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
dude. I can hear the air.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
