We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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