Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
