my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
