stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
