the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
