ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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